a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
