i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
