so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
