seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
