there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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