God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
