dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
