Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
