If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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