did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
