I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
did i walk over a car last night?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
