wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
