Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
