he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
