I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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