I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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