I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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