every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize