In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
