Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
