Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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