So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
