erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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