i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
