he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize