Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
