this just has baby written all over it
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
