your parents love me but you hate me
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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