Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
