My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize