whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
3 2 1 whiskey
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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