We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I am midnight drunk by noon
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize