Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
