what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
