Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
