Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
