she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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