he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
