did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I have aggressive nipples.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize