Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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