If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
