No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
