Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
