And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
