You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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