I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
