it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
