We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
