I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
