i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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