Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
