she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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