This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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