stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Panties = found
Randomize
