apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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