Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
