she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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