HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
