Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
