I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
