I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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