so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
