On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
