I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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