i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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