Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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