Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
