Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
