He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
