i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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